You’re Just Like Your Mother and How much look like mother

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Will we automatically as our parents?

Although we love our parents very much, the comment is “You’re already just like your mother!” do not like to hear. Of course, this remark angers us, especially because it is often used in battle by the other side as a killer argument. But: Why can not you get angry with this remark as such? And is it true that we are really just like our parents?

Sure, but we are optically very similar to our parents. Mamas nose and curly brown hair, plus we have inherited the facial expressions and laughter from the father. But not only that. Sometime around the 30 we have to suddenly find that we, who always used to want to make everything so different from our parents, we behave more and more like our parents.

No later than who gets children themselves must admit that it occurs quite accurately in the parents’ footsteps. Since it exhorts her own child, that it does not cram as many sweets in itself and should be careful when school. Man admits behind the partner and beefed up every morning that she drinks the milk from the bottle. Just like when our mother.

It is hardly surprising that we are like in our behavior. Just like our children view from their behaviors from us, our parents were our model. No one has a greater influence on us as our mother and our father. This applies to settings, automatic behaviors, but also how we deal with feelings and near, says psychotherapist Dr. Silvia

A copy of the mother?

As long as we are younger and our lives from those of the adult is fundamentally different, these parallels fall on us even not really. But as soon as we get older and our life, a job and your own children not so strikingly differs by a fixed relationship from that of our parents, we note: We have taken the security thinking of our mother, also a building loan contract and think about buying a house after.

In a survey of the English online portal said the vast majority of women that they had become more and more like about 32 years from their own mother. Tics, rituals or specific formulations – hardly a woman that came to nothing in common with her own mother.

Too bad that we do not only take the positive characteristics from our parents, but just too bad. Who has it always bothered that the parents have no real culture of debate and many problems under the carpet back, who must be aware that his behavior was coined in conflict with his parents. Finally, it reacts in the dispute fairly intuitive and without thinking big and then we usually automatically the way, we got it lived out half our lives.

The brain, a creature of habit

Guilt is our brain, the old habit. It ensures that we do certain actions automatically without thinking about it Simply because we have just always been so it. The expert explains: In living with our parents patterns are presented to us and shown live.We save and thus form in our brain patterns and structures out where we focus in life and determine our actions. Stored in the nerve cells over the years regular trails formed by repetitive patterns of behavior, explains Dr. Puchner.

But do not worry. We will not inevitably a mini-version of our mother. Dr. Puchner says: Every person is unique and incredibly rich in capabilities.In her book she explains how to understand her parents’ roots and accept, but can also be active simultaneously change her life.

Who wants to make things better or different than his parents, which should begin with the most important point, the expert says: We need to understand why we react the way we react initially The history is to understand the most important..Step two: One should recognize the inherited behavior on the one hand and appreciate, but also consider whether there are also some that are more of a hindrance to their own lives. For what does not fit, you can certainly try to change. And by action alternatives considering. Who at home, for example, has ‘No’ to say never learned, and therefore getting the worst of it in the job that should work off his usual behavior patterns.

Of course, let behaviors that once saved your brain, do not change overnight. This can sometimes take years. But seriously: Fortunately, our mother and our father but also have many good qualities. So you should honestly ask: Is it really so bad if I’m a bit like my mother?

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